If you have a child on the autism spectrum like I do, then you understand that to run errands with a son during covid has been a little bit more of a challenge during these Corona days. So we’re 7 months into shelter in place, and with businesses and other things outside gradually starting to open again here in California, and we're just now starting to feel the relief of outside opening again. Of course we still need to wear masks and maintain social distance from each other, but…we get to go outside again! There’s even talks about schools opening up again soon. So, this is real. Especially for families with special needs children, navigating “outside” can be a whole new adventure.
I’ve just now gotten comfortable with taking my son with me to run random errands that he used to love doing together. Grocery shopping, Target runs, visiting friends, and the occasionally restaurant stop. Now, going outside means giving him a 10 minute prep talk about what he can and can’t do: Always keep your mask on your face, don’t touch anything besides mommy’s hand, don’t pick up random things in the store, you can’t just go up to strangers and touch them (yea….we’re still working on this).
Needless to say, I’m sure my ausome moms can relate, that all of this falls on deaf ears. We’re working on it, but I think he just gets so excited. But getting him to understand the importance of safety is my first priority. He understands why these rules are the way they are, but he’s also a kid.
I know that I’m not the only mom who has a child (neuro-different or not) that has made us question our sanity during this quarantine and with school closures. I can’t speak on what has worked on the sanity part, but I can offer some tips of what’s worked for us being out in restaurants and running errands, at least.
So if your child is non-verbal or at a different place on the spectrum, your experience with how your child does outside in public places may be a little different. My son is both verbal and higher on the spectrum, so our experiences may differ from someone else’s. But everything can be easily adaptable for you and your family.
Tips to navigate outside
Plan out your trip ahead of time, including your route – This is first because it’s a big one. Sometimes as moms, when we’re out we want to get ALL the errands done, right? Get the groceries, pick up kiddie clothes that were outgrown during quarantine, make a quick stop for food, etc. But preparing your trip in advance can be helpful to your little one. You can schedule errands around naptime or the cranky time of day. Tell your child about the places you need to go before you get there, so they know what to expect. If you’re stopping at McDonald’s (for the infamous nuggets!), tell them you’re going through the drive thru and they can’t play on the play structure. Be able to prep them ahead of time can save you minutes (or hours) of complaining later on.
Medium preferred toys are a good compromise – I mean, what parent hasn’t bribed their kids to get them to behave…I can’t be the only one. So when heading out to run errands, let your child bring a toy along with them, preferably one that they’re not too attached to that you don’t mind washing or sanitizing when you get home. I find that having something familiar helps my son re-focus when his mind starts to wander. Or even for fidgety kiddos, this may help them if they’re feeling anxious while being outside. Then remind them that they can play with their higher preferred toys when you get back home or to the car. While at a restaurant, they’ll have something else to focus on other than being uncomfortable about wearing a mask.
Try to keep them engaged and let them help – One thing I noticed that helps my son in a restaurant is letting him pick his own meals from the kids’ menu. He then later will tell the waiter or waitress his order himself. This lets him be involved in the process and helps ease some of the anxiety of waiting. He knows what he wants and he knows that it’s coming. If your child is non-verbal or too young to order their own food, read off each of the items you know they’d like, then tell them what you’re going to order them. When out running errands, tell your child the name of the store you’re going to and what types of things they sell there…or even better, what you’re going to buy. This way they’ll better understand their surroundings. Perhaps even let your child ask the clerk where the item is in the store, or let them put it in the cart themselves. Letting them be apart of the process can help their little attention spans and prevent meltdowns.
Be flexible and ready for change – Let’s face it, children are unpredictable beings. We hardly ever know what mood they’re in and what will set them off. But if you have a plan in place to prepare for meltdowns, tantrums, accidents in the middle of the store, then you’re already ahead of the game. You may have to cut your shopping or errands short in case of a cranky kid, or possibly arrange to have a family member or trusted friend keep your child while you’re out running errands.
Other ways to keep your little one safe while out…
Start slow and try out small quick trips first before planning for that 3-hour shopping day you’ll take your kids to. But if it has to be a long day out, try to bring someone along with you, like a relative or friend (for my single mommas), or have your partner come along to help with the kids.
Plan to go early in the morning. Planning out your trips as early as possible can help prevent any of the mid-day crankiness or moodiness. Especially if you’re taking more than one child with you, this could help keep things calm before the busy days sets in. Or you could even plan your trips around nap time.
Bring along lots of sanitizer or use disinfecting hand wipes whenever possible. Keep some with you and in the car.
If you’re bringing along more than one child, have a stroller with a rain shield for the smallest or more fidgety one. The others could either be carried or walk alongside you.
Use face shields for your little ones that don’t like face masks. They’re a little more comfortable and they’re customizable too.
Be relaxed, comfortable and confident! This will only help your child to relax even more. They can feel our energy, so if we’re calm in the busy restaurant or in the store, then it will help our little ones to be less agitated.
Remember the goal, you need to run errands during covid, but still keep it light and fun. With your son or daughter on the spectrum, they could be just as scared and confused as you. Keep yourself calm, and they'll follow!
It’s not always going to be this hard, momma. You’re doing a great job with the information and resources you have now. So trust your instincts cause you know your child the best. You know their needs and you’ll be the best for them in any situation. You got this!
Love always,
Momma Naturalista
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