Friendships, particularly female friendships, to me are very important and hold a special place for me. I know many adult women say that they have trouble making new friends as adults.
That's definitely true for me too. It takes a lot more effort to find your "tribe" or even just one gal that totally gets you, that you click with, and you become fast friends. Creating new friendships is definitely an intentional activity.
But when it comes to creating friendships, whether with old friends or new ones, we should be honoring our friendships by making intentional space for them.
Friendships should be able to evolve over time by creating intentional space.
Friend time vs. partner time
In order for a friendship to thrive, we need to treat them like we would any other relationship.
I can never understand why some people can put so much effort into developing their romantic relationships with their partners, but don’t put in the same effort with their friends. I know romantic relationships are different, but some effort should still be put into making time with your girlfriends.
Some people that have a healthy balance will make time for both friendships and romantic relationships. Such as scheduling friend dates just like a romantic date. Healthy friendships need this time too.
Yes, romantic partners and friendships should definitely be nurtured, but in different ways.
Friendships also need to have space in our lives in order to thrive. If not, then the partnership may eventually fade apart.
Ways to hold friendship space
Encourage your girls:
No one likes to be scolded all the time, nor does anyone like to hear what they’re doing wrong all the time. So be there to support them, encourage them, praise them, and hold space for them to give your undivided attention.
We should celebrate each other, not just with words, but with actions and intention. Find out what activities your friend enjoys and do those with them.
Ask more questions to find out their interests, or what new venture they have going on. Really be interested in their lives, and celebrate those small victories that are important to them.
Spend time with your girls:
This may seem like a simple task of setting aside an hour or two, but it’s all about intentionality.
Are you honoring your word by making time for your friend? Just like for romantic relationships, time is set aside for each other. Be intentional about creating the space and time to completely focus on your friend and to listen to each other. Being open and vulnerable creates bonds that only time can break.
Celebrate your girls:
This sometimes is easier said than done, but hold space when your friend wins. When she’s gotten that promotion, when she achieved that goal, even if her kids have a huge win- help her to celebrate it all.
You don't have to give an elaborate show of affection or to go out of your way.
Call ya girl:
Even if you aren’t physically near your bestie, or if your conflicting schedules make meeting up difficult (hello new mom life, anyone?). Call her on the phone, asking how her day has been, check in on her emotional state, talk about the latest celebrity gossip (if that’s your thing), or plan your dream vacation or girlfriend getaway.
It doesn’t matter. Just call. I love talking with my girls about future plans and goals that I plan to achieve. We help support and encourage each other, and sometimes they are just the boost that I need to keep my momentum going.
Even as a blogger, my ladies ask about how my writing is coming along (since I want to write a book) and that sometimes is my kick in the pants to break out my notepad and pen. No matter what your thing is, the intention is to just connect.
Nurture friendships
There are many ways that we can be there for one another. But the main thing is to nurture friendships as any other relationship that we have. These are the people that we hold dear to us. Tell your friends what they mean to you; a little goes a long way. Occasionally checking in can be just as important as the weekly phone call. Sometimes that small effort could be all it takes.
That’s all I have for now, until next time loves!
Love always,
Momma Naturalista
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