Depression isn't a luxury
It’s an unspoken rule in most Black households to not mention or talk about someone’s mental health. Growing up, it was a stigma that we just didn’t talk about, and I know that stigma exists in other Black households too. Growing up, mental health was seen as something negative that there wasn’t any time for. Especially if you’re being raised by a busy single mom, who has time for depression? Stress?
Taboo
Mental health or illness was definitely a taboo topic while growing up. We weren’t encouraged to talk about feelings or emotions, unless it was something worth celebrating. It's hard to teach a child how to regulate their emotions when they weren't able to process tgose emotions in a healthy and encouraging way.
However I love that there is now more of a mental health awareness among the Black community, and we're speaking up for what we need. We are learning and teaching others how to emotionally regulate. How to have hard conversations. How to respectfully express that we need respect from our elders. How to set firm boundaries with those who have hurt us in the past. And we're getting into therapy.
I bring all of this up to not bash or reprimand my upbringing, but to only shed light and awareness as I navigate through my own adulthood and process my own mental health. Especially now as a mom to a young boy. Why am I the way that I am? It's taken some time, but I've had to create an emotionally healthy balance of communication in my own family. I had to teach my son how to communicate his feelings and emotions, when I was never given the space to do so as a child.
Now, let's heal
As a result of my upbringing, talking about therapy, talking about depression, talking about alcoholism, talking about abuse can be uncomfortable (for no reason at all), especially when I mentioned I’m in therapy. I get nervous at the thought of having to tell my loved ones I’m dealing with depression. I’d rather lie in bed all day than to confront someone who has emotionally hurt me.
All of this…I want to change. I want to be that voice that says, “It’s ok to not be ok. You’ve been not ok for far too long, so let’s see where we can get you some help.”
I want to change how asking for help in the Black community from being a taboo thing to do. Most of the time, it’s because we don’t have anyone that we can go to that we trust.
I want to be the change. I want to see a change in my lifetime for my family.
Breathing through depression
Breathing through depression feels like every breath you take is underwater and weights are on your ankles during the sunrise.
Why sunrise you ask?
Because it always feels like there’s light when you look up, but looking down it’s still dark and gloomy. Stretching and reaching for the light is what’s keeping me going because I know there will be a way out.
Love always,
Momma Naturalista
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