Schools are...closed?!
So, I’m not going to lie. When it was announced that schools would be closing for the next few weeks, I was nervous. Then, they announced that school was closing through the end of the next month, I panicked. Then, finally…it happened. Remote learning for all schools for the remainder of the school year. I. Was. Hysterical. What do you mean me and my kid are going to be in the same house for who knows how long? What do you mean I have to work my full work schedule, and be a homeschooling parent at the same time? What do you mean…?
Yes, I’m sure this story sounds familiar to all parents out there. The loud gasps, the shocked faces, the joyous kids, but then as the dust from the uprising of helpless parents settled and things got clearer, we realized we needed to get prepared.
I saw some moms rearrange their houses to have in-home classrooms.
I saw new schedules created and posted that focused on education and fun.
I saw parents teaching their children about the meaning of a virus, why we should be washing our hands, child-size face masks being created by little hands, and household items being turned into face protection.
The world was spinning into something I didn’t recognize, and everyday got harder, but manageable.
5 Tips for Your Edges
So momma…How do you handle all this as a single mom? Well, here are five tips that have gotten me through these stressful times with all of my edges (somewhat) intact.
1. Check out to check in:
This one just comes from asking for what you need from your employer. If you’re able, ask to adjust your work schedule to accommodate work times that work for you, take longer breaks and make up the time later in the day. Actually step AWAY from your work area during breaks. Your work will be there, so check out mentally, prepare your headspace, and then jump back in to work refreshed. Rinse and repeat as needed.
2. Ask for help:
As the main (or only) breadwinner in the household, sometimes it becomes second nature to figure out things on our own. We know that we have the supermom title, but the reality is that we are not superwomen. God never intended us to be. God placed helpers for us that we need to be able to rely on. Ask your nosey neighbor (you know the one) to watch your child, even if to just take a quick shower in peace. Reach out to members of your church who have high school-age children to babysit. I’m sure their parents would love the break. Ask a friend to grab some extra items for you the next time they go to the grocery store, and CashApp them the money.
We’re all in this together. God has strategically placed helpers in your path. If you don’t see them now, pray to God and ask him to open your eyes and see them.
3. Make self-care a priority:
People around you can’t help if you don’t know how to help yourself. Be kind and forgiving to yourself for not having all the answers. Be gentle with yourself when working out a daily routine with your child. Schedule fun breaktimes, and don’t forget to eat! Take time to show yourself some gratitude and don’t be hard on yourself either. Put yourself first before pouring out your cup to fill up someone else’s.
4. Follow the DO’s
DO take a longer than usual baths or showers, and throw some bath bombs in there too. Self-care is #1, remember?
DO make a dedicated space in your room or home just for work, and teach your children that while you’re there, that they can’t disturb you.
DO have breakfast for dinner every now and then. Make meal-prep easy on yourself.
DO place a DoorDash order for dinner and support a local business.
DO catch up with a close friend over the phone that you haven’t seen since quarantine.
DO make time just to play with your kids while at home, even during your work time. You’ll feel better for it.
DO breathe. Deeply. Everyday.
And if you can (and it’s safe), DO hire a part-time babysitter or nanny to watch your kids, or take them to grandma’s for a while. Take some pressure off of yourself.
5. Follow the DON’Ts:
DON’T go and do all the activities at once! When outside does open up again, don’t visit your girlfriends, go to your favorite restaurant, get your nails done, and get started on your Lowe’s home-project list all on the same day. Please….don’t.
DON’T be hard on yourself for not cleaning the house everyday, or for letting the dishes pile in the sink. (Again, nanny.)
DON’T stress that your child may fall behind in school, or will not be as socialized when they do go back to school. Kids are resilient beings. As long as they know that they are safe and secure, they will be able to bounce back. Just show them patience and love, and make time for family-time.
Of course this isn’t an exhaustive list, but it gets the point across. I didn’t add in there to continue to date, virtually of course. Continue to work on your self-improvement in your single season. Continue to go after that promotion at work. Continue to show up in your worth and say no to things that don’t serve you. Continue to protest if that’s where your heart leads you. Or continue to just REST and relax during this time of isolation. You have the ability to make this work for you, you can do this. I know it’s hard. I know the road is long. I know there’s a lot going on. But you’re worth it to put yourself first.
Love always,
Momma Naturalista
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